Tarapta raha dil be-hisaab, dhadkanein thin laa-taadad
تڑپتا رہا دل بے حساب، دھڑکنیں تھیں لا تعداد
Sochta raha teri badgumani ka, kaise karwa apna daaman saaf
سوچتا رہا تیری بدگمانی کا، کیسے کروا اپنا دامن صاف
Author: Admin
There are five ways that we can use to handle our negative thoughts:
1. Focusing on serving others:
By focusing on helping others, we won’t have time to focus on our own negative thoughts about ourselves. This is a form of distraction; it can help, but it doesn’t solve the problem.
2. Taking progressive action of any kind:
By focusing on doing, we would be too distracted to focus on thinking. Any progressive action can help, but the most effective ones are the ones related to the negative thoughts themselves. In other words, if the actions can help address or resolve the negative thoughts specifically, that can help reduce their intensity, but it doesn’t solve the problem.
3. Journaling:
Journaling is a powerful tool to empty our minds, and temporarily release our negative thoughts on a daily basis, but it doesn’t solve the problem.
4. Reframing:
Through role play, dialogue, and visualization, we can directly engage with our negative thoughts to understand them and reframe them. That can help lower their intensity, but it doesn’t solve the problem.
5. Dissolving the negative emotions that gave birth to the negative thoughts in the first place:
All previous ways focus on the negative thoughts instead of their origin. They are helpful, but they don’t provide a permanent solution; they only provide a way to manage the existing problem. However, by dissolving the negative emotions that created the negative thoughts, we are permanently eliminating them.
-Sam Qureshi
Teri justuju mein nikle to ajab saraab dekhe
تیری جستجو میں نکلے تو عجب سراب دیکھے
Kabhi shab ko din kaha, kabhi din ko khwab dekhe
کبھی شب کو دن کہا، کبھی دن کو خواب دیکھے
Mujhe dekhna ho jisko mere haal par na jaye
مجھے دیکھنا ہو جس کو میرے حال پر نہ جائے
Mera zauk o shauq dekhe, mera intikhaab dekhe
میرا ذوق و شوق دیکھے، میرا انتخاب دیکھے
By choosing to be realistic, we are limiting our imagination of what’s possible.
By limiting our imagination of what’s possible, we limit the potential reality we can create. In this context, reality would mean solutions to problems, healthy relationships with others, achievement of desired outcomes, effortless engagement with the world around us, and a deep sense of safety and peace within.
When it comes to problem solving, the more permission we give ourselves to be unrealistic with the solutions we come up with, the more likely we are to break any existing limitations in that moment, that may prevent us from accessing our creativity, in a way that allows us to find a definitive solution.
When it comes to goal setting, it’s not about having a realistic dream. It’s about having an unrealistic dream with a realistic plan. In other words, realism needs to be utilized at the right time; and in this case, it would be after giving ourselves unconditional permission to imagine and internally create.
Realism contaminates goals when it interferes with our ability to unapologetically express the truth about what we want. However, if we use it to express the truth about our current reality and how we feel, and to craft a plan to achieve our dreams, then realism can accelerate our progress instead of impede it.
-Sam Qureshi
Tum jaanti ho Sofia is zindagi mein mujhe sab se zyada kis cheez se dar lagta hai
تم جانتی ہو صوفیا اس زندگی میں مجھے سب سے زیادہ کس چیز سے ڈر لگتا ہے
Na beemari se na tanhaayi se na hi khud maut se
نہ بیماری سے نہ تنہائی سے نہ ہی خود موت سے
Balkay is khayaal se ke poori zindagi yun hi guzar jaye
بلکہ اس خیال سے کہ پوری زندگی یوں ہی گزر جائے
Baghair kisi haqeeqi ehsas ke baghair is baat ka idraak kiye ke main waqai zinda tha
بغیر کسی حقیقی احساس کے بغیر اس بات کا ادراک کیے کہ میں واقعی زندہ تھا
Kisi din jaag kar yeh sochna ke maine kabhi dil se nahi hansa
کسی دن جاگ کر یہ سوچنا کہ میں نے کبھی دل سے نہیں ہنسا
Deewana waar mohabbat nahi ki dard se cheekha nahi roya nahi
دیوانہ وار محبت نہیں کی درد سے چیخا نہیں رویا نہیں
Ke zindagi bas ek yaksaa silsila rahi
کہ زندگی بس ایک یکساں سلسلہ رہی
Jis mein na koi hairat thi na koi jazba na koi shiddat
جس میں نہ کوئی حیرت تھی نہ کوئی جذبہ نہ کوئی شدت
Ke meri ragoon mein zindagi hi nahi thi
کہ میری رگوں میں زندگی ہی نہیں تھی
Kya yeh asal maut nahi
کیا یہ اصل موت نہیں
The Nun – Anton Chekhov se iqtibaas
دی نون – انتون چیخوف سے اقتباس
Chalo Mohsin mohabbat ki nai bunyaad rakhte hain
چلو محسن محبت کی نئی بنیاد رکھتے ہیں
Khud paband rehte hain usay azaad rakhte hain
خود پابند رہتے ہیں اُسے آزاد رکھتے ہیں
Hamare khoon mein Rab ne yahi taseer rakhi hai
ہمارے خون میں رب نے یہی تاثیر رکھی ہے
Burai bhool jaate hain, achhai yaad rakhte hain
برائی بھول جاتے ہیں، اچھائی یاد رکھتے ہیں
Mohabbat mein kahin hum se gustakhi na ho jaaye
محبت میں کہیں ہم سے گستاخی نہ ہوجائے
Hum apna har qadam us ke qadam ke baad rakhte hain
ہم اپنا ہر قدم اُس کے قدم کے بعد رکھتے ہیں
Kindness is not weakness. Unfortunately, many of us have learned to avoid practicing kindness out of fear of its misinterpretation.
One of the reasons for this reservation is the epidemic of people-pleasing that stems from emotional wounds that lead to this mass fawning as an adaptation.
Fawning is one of the four fight or flight responses. To be honest, it’s more of a reaction than it is a response. It’s a form of submission in an attempt to avoid the potential threat. In this case, the threat would be abuse or abandonment.
The tragedy here is because it works so well in avoiding threats, or at least minimizing the pain that may be inflicted by a threat, it becomes, unconsciously, a compelling behavior to adopt. More importantly, it’s effectiveness can blind us from seeing the gradual destructive impact it has on our mental health.
What it indirectly enables is the avoidance of authenticity out of fear of the consequences of being authentic. By fawning, we are compromising our integrity, and detaching from our authentic self.
The solution is not to avoid kindness out of fear of pain, but to embrace it in spite of the potential pain, and enforce our boundaries when our compassionate actions are misinterpreted as an invitation for abuse.
-Sam Qureshi